Until recently, the most boat-rocking experience I had encountered in my life as a Christian was when I stumbled over women's roles in the church. The distinctions (which I may have previously inappropriately dubbed "limitations") hit me like a solid blow to the chest. I was not used to being told I couldn't do something because I was a woman, and definitely not by people who I thought loved me. In my head the roles of men and women translated into the distaste and disinterest of the church in my faith. They didn't care about what I had to offer, and didn't want me to be active in church life.
Confused by the unfathomable amount of love I felt coming from the same group of people who seemed to be smothering and diminishing my worth, I put myself into a tizzy. Upset and discouraged, I dove into the scriptures and sought advice from people I trusted. Okay okay, first I lost my grip and had to be gently but firmly brought back to reality by someone wise beyond his years and loving beyond my ability to comprehend. Additionally, I prayed and prayed.
I never came to an "A-ha!" moment, but I did find some peace. I believe with all my heart that the words of the scriptures are right and true, and to the best of my ability I am determined not to warp them to my wishes or to support my desires. With that as my foundation, there are enough passages in scripture to confirm that there are things women do that men do not, and there are things that men do that women do not do. End of story.
The fudgey part is in the details... that's why I said I have found some peace. If one were to ask me to give definitively what a woman should and should not do, my answer would have clear and murky points, and almost all of them would be feebly supported. I feel that women are not meant to be in complete authority, as is said in 1 Tim 2:11-12, but I don't listen at all to the need to keep my head covered. Why don't I listen to that last part? Ask me in a few months. I'm currently reading the whole bible, and am praying for peace on the matter to come in time. For now, the best I can say is that people I trust as God loving and fearing men and women also don't heed the head covering passage, so, neither do I.
The pain caused by the topic of roles was compounded by my then growing desire to share my faith with the church. Regularly I sat and listened to the testimony of others and was moved and motivated by their words. Desperately I wanted to return the favor by offering my own testimony, fueled by my ever increasing passion for God. As a new believer, the furnace in my heart was ablaze and I longed to yell it from the mountain tops and edify the men and women who had already done so much to edify me.
But then I found out I couldn't. I couldn't get up in front of the church and tell them about how Jesus touched my life, about the role He plays and the glory of God. The one major yearning in my heart... and I was forbidden from it...
Stop.
That's where I got it all wrong. No one was cutting my vocal chords. No one was turning their head and refusing to listen. It is true, I had felt an overwhelming desire to sing and preach, and in truth, I still do. But when I found out I couldn't do it in the very specific way I wanted, I grew angry and developed tunnel vision. If I couldn't preach... I couldn't do anything! There wouldn't be any way to edify the church! There wouldn't be any way for me to be a functioning member of the body!
Oh, praise the Lord that I have overcome that. It was a dark place in my head at those times. Dark and suffocating. But then, something happened and I was able to realize there are so many roles in the church, and all of them so powerful and crucial. In fact, some of the most profound influences that acted on me were the behind the scenes and under the surface goodness, gentleness and service shown to me by... women! Godly, amazing women. If I could follow their lead and touch even just one life as these women have touched mine, I would feel like I have pleased the Lord.
The moral of this blog goes like this:
I don't know what the precise roles of women are, but I do understand that women and men were created with distinct roles because, well, some people are women and some people are men. If there wasn't a reason for both of us, we wouldn't have both been made in Eden. As a woman, I feel called to share with others, and though I haven't found precisely the way I am best suited to do this, I am open to whatever method the Lord has for me, and am at peace that I was not made for ultimate authority. Even more so, I have come to realize that Godly women are such beautiful creatures that we often barely see them at work, more commonly we just enjoy and are blessed by them long before realizing their service.
If that is the woman God has called me to be, that would be fine with me. In fact, I would say Praise the Lord.
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I'm glad you've been using this forum to express your thoughts and feelings because I think you do it very well. And you do it responsibly and honestly. Some have shared your thoughts at one point in time and did not come to the same conclusions. Those people end up forsaking the assembly and it's disheartening. As a man who has taught and "preached" in the assembly, I can assure you that it's not as glamorous as it seems and at times I have not wanted to do it. In fact, James 3:1 says this, "My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment." Every time I exhort the assembly, I'm mindful of that judgment. To ask a twenty-first century woman to adhere to first century "standards" seems like a ridiculous request, but when one actually sees it in practice, and knowing that it's done in obedience to God amidst a perverse world, there's scarcely a more beautiful sight. Perhaps, this might help you further your research in women covering the head: look at 1 Corinthians 11:15. It says that a woman's hair has been given as a covering for her head. So actually, from what I've seen, you do keep your head covered in prophesying (aka teaching) and praying. :-) Do you mind if I share this blog post with others of like-minded faith?
ReplyDeleteThank you for your words of support, both regarding this blog and my search for understanding, and for sharing a view point from "the other side". Such positive responses are very encouraging, and I thank you sincerely for taking the time to comment.
DeleteAlso, this is a public blog, please feel free to share however you would like.
Ephesians 5:22 - 24
Delete22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing.
You have chosen to be a Christian, now you must live by the Christian code. As per the Bible: women < men. Great choice.
Ah! So you see where I was originally coming from. Out of context and in the midst of a society rampant with abuse it is all to easy to make the conclusion women < men. Maybe I didn't make clear in my post that this isn't actually the case. Women are different than men, we do different things. Women bear children, but again, it doesn't make them greater than men, it just means they are female. Be careful not to take verses out of context. If you do that, you can make anything under the sun seem true. As an aside, a lot of people struggle with this concept because they equate submission with abuse. i.e. submit to your abusive husband and take all of his physical and verbal attacks without complaint. NOT what the bible is saying. The bible tells women to submit to a GODLY husband. Someone actively following the will of Christ. If you find a true, Godly marriage, you probably won't even notice a wife "submitting", because when something is done according to God's will, it is beautiful and not oppressive; you will instead only see an extremely well functioning relationship where no one dominates and rules over any one else. In fact, please check back soon. I will try to elaborate on this point in another post. Thanks for commenting.
DeleteGood answer. My issue with the bible (as it pertains to the role of women) is that the context is > 1000 years old (on average). Unfortunately for women, there is really no logical choice but to conclude that the intentions of Ephesians is sexist in nature given the time frame. The bible was written by men, this goes without convincible argument.
DeleteThis is not an oversimplification, this is a common observation.
Additionally, I do not believe that you need to look towards the bible for your place as a woman. Make that decision for yourself.
DeleteTo clarify, Anonymous commentator #1 is not the same person as Anonymous commentator #2. I somewhat disagree with how #2 is oversimplifying Ephesians 5:22-24.
ReplyDeleteHave you been told you are not allowed to share your testimony in front of the church? Am I understanding that correctly?
ReplyDeleteI would not be permitted to lead during a meeting, so, if I wanted to use my testimony as foundation for an exhortation, then no, that would not be okay. However, I think if I had asked to have some time during the service to share my story, that would have been okay, though I am not sure. I think that is something that may vary significantly between groups.
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