The last time I posted was a quick note that I had set the day for my baptism.
It's been done.
My day of new life was Thursday, February 3rd, 2011, and it was a great, great day. In fact, after setting the day on Sunday, my whole week was full of emotion and anticipation. The experience itself changed my life (saved it, to use the correct verb) and the moments around it will certainly be cherished all of my days. The air that night felt alive to me, electric, vibrating, and as I prepared to walk down and confess my sins during the invitation song (Are you washed in the blood, by the way) my chest swelled with love and truth like I've felt it swell before, when my heart is truly open to God. I received a blessed hug from a man who has played deep and positive role in my life, more so than he has any idea of, I am certain. I confessed Christ as Lord and Savior at the close of the song and was joined by another close, dear family member in Christ into a side room to prepare for my baptism. There, she looked at me and said "Dear, this is the best day of your life" to which I answered "I know". She hugged me tightly and reminded me that 10,000 angels would be singing in heaven the moment I entered the family. I again smiled. Anything more would have been a waterfall from my eyes.
God is good, friends.
God is faithful, true, and loving.
When I came up from the water, I could feel His arms pull me forth, pull me close, and celebrate that He had me.
I try to hug Him back, everyday, every moment. I slip, of course, or I grow distant, but I am confident that simply remembering that day, remembering that feeling, I will remember that God will never let me go. I am His forever.
I was greeted by my church family with literally, open arms. Words escaped me and I was unapologetically smiley. My boyfriend, a remarkable man and unparalleled influence of good in my life, awaited me near the front row, impatient to throw his arms around me and welcome me to his true family. Later he brought me pure white tulips that he'd successfully kept hidden despite my having been with him on arriving to the church. I cherish those tulips (present tense, because I still have most of them, dried and decorating my room). They represent so much to me, and always will. Yet more treasured, though, is the absence of the dark weight in my core, near my heart, that has been replaced by the grace of my Lord and Savior.
